Saturday, October 15, 2005

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way...

I may have to ramble a bit to get into this post, so don't quit reading. I've realized that maintaining this site has become – gasp – work! At least I'll be able to stay in my house now and will not need to seek a new home. (Thank heavens. I was really worried about that, especially with the Northeast's winter coming up.) Now, I hope I don't ever let myself be so stupid again. It also reinforced the lesson that my actions have consequences for other people and animals as well.

At times when I look back at my life, I wonder how good am I really? I used to think I was always on the right side simply because I was brought up young. That is not only youthful arrogance, but it is stupid arrogance as well. I needed to be smacked around hard before I got the message, but the wake-up call was not necessarily a bad thing.

I learned to be more accepting of other people's faults. Nor to hold others up to the impossibly high standards I set for myself and could not live up to. Demanding perfection in our own lives can be one of the most destructive influences of taking the command supposedly given by God in the Bible to be perfect to seriously. (I do not know if other Christian denominations emphasize this. It may be just a Mormon thing as you're on the road to eternal progression.)

I realized that perfection was an impossible goal and gave up. Instead, I merely try to make myself a better person as much as possible now. I try not to preach at people (although I think this site does sort of violate that rule), I try not to act like I know everything (but old habits die hard), and sometime I'll be able to overcome my rabid hatred of people who can't type out the words “you”, “your”, “you're”, “to”, “too” or “please” on the Internet.

The truth is we're all flawed. We should try to correct them but obsessing over them is detrimental especially if you try to correct the flaws you most despise in yourself in others. I still think I'm a good person overall, but that doesn't mean there still isn't room for a lot of improvement.

When forgiving others, don't forget to include to forgive yourself as well. In fact, if you're like me at all, you'll find forgiving yourself easier. Then, as part of the process try not to do it again.

Oh, by the way, I'm not upset that the site has become work. I'm just still suffering from the after-affects of a too late night last night.


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