Mondays that don't start at 2 a.m. rock

I've figured out the problem with Qumana, and unfortunately there's very little I can do about it. My Google account is not the same as the name I signed up for Blogger under. I hope Qunama and Blogger can get this worked out, otherwise I might have to break down and pirate -- oops, I mean buy -- a copy of Word to use.

I've finally got a Monday off. It is in fact the first Monday I've had off since March, and for that matter, the first Monday I haven't had to be up at 2 a.m. since mid-May. Now, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do with my Monday, perhaps a trip to the library is in order as I've finished the stack of four books I've recently borrowed. (or was it 5?) Well, I could borrow DVD's too, but with the usual luck in my life, after finding a nice, new and actually good DVD player at Dollar General, the tube on my TV set blew.

Although I don't intend to make a habit of replying to other people on my blog, there was a comment made on Letters from a Broad recently that probably does deserve a full blown blog entry here, rather than take up comment space when she was showcasing another author. (And of course, the other irony, is I may in fact need to pick up a book on Java/Javascript in the near future as my HTML textbook from college which had a large section on Javascript is now missing..)

Now that I've made it clear I'm not addressing C.L. Hansen, but rather a stage I've personally been at in my journey out of the church. As we all know, the church makes its best attempt to sexually repress its members. I've said before it's left me terrified of aspects of myself. Perhaps it would be best if I said what the comment was, and it's one I made a while ago on this blog and now regret. I did in fact say that I was transgendered and not gay. That statement was made a while ago when I started to break down the walls of years of church, then self-imposed sexual repression.

That's been changing over the last few months. In fact, I'm stating to think that celibacy may in fact be causing me to miss out on something. I'm still socially inept, so I'm not sure how to proceed, but I think hurrying is a bad idea as it's only something that has recently awakened within me.

If I may get back to the comment, at the time I wrote that I felt the need to deny being gay. I still internally felt it was wrong for me to be that way. Now as I've come to embrace and accept even more of who I am, I realize it's a possibility. I even managed to bring up some of the issues with my new therapist, although I am not and probably never will be comfortable about talking orally (no pun intended) about anything involving sex. Fortunately, you can't see the pauses I make me in my writing as I do a blog entry like this one.