Friday, October 21, 2005

Not so Random Rambling

It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do. Had a bit of difficulty getting a fully restful sleep in for the last night or two. Now, I'm fully rested and ready to do what I need to do, I hope. No strange dreams plagued me last night although I am used to such things by now. (I've had strange dreams for a long time.)

Today I'll continue the series of responses I intended to, even though in so many other ways, I'm ready to cross some personal Rubicons. The same person asked about body issues. I can't say these are a major fours for me. I cannot say whether I'd really want to experience PMS or not. Certainly, I can act like it even without the biological processes necessary. Nor do I focus too much on absence of things I do not currently have. (Sometimes I focus on the presence of something I do have, but not too often.) It's more like I wish that particular presence was gone. I could spell this out more explicitly, but as I want to keep this site PG-13 at least, I feel no real reason to do so.

In all honesty, I sort of expected this response. Unless you've suffered from these feelings, you don't know nor is it something I'd expect people to understand. Things felt on a deeply emotional level sometimes cannot be truly understood unless you've experienced it yourself. I don't know how the future goes. I've not crossed any points of no return yet, although if I wish to resolve the issue I fully intend to.

I suppose in some ways this will continue if I ever actually do tell anyone how I feel. (I plan on letting my therapist know this Monday.) I must admit I thought I'd have a more coherent post when I started this today, but it does not seem to have turned out that way. Well, see you tomorrow. Same Porpoise Time. Same Porpoise Channel.


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